POEM : ABUSE

 

ABUSE

(written by Norlilawati MN)

2019

 

A child is a God given

A child is entrusted to you

A child is your source of joy

To be loved and cherished by all

And yet is poorly care and

Sadistically abused by a care taker

 

Though it’s not easy

Mummy still wants me

She hopes for ebullience

As daddy leaves

And she loves me deeply

As a mother can be

 

 

Then I was sent to a devil

in a human mask

The devil that speaks human’s language

That has no heart or soul

 

Words of abuse

Bawl out every morning

You never treat me well

As if I come from hell

What have I ever done to you,

My so-called “baby-sitter”?

 

She is a mother of two

 But has got no shame

Disguise as a human,

But a witch that I fear the most

 

Her sins is mounting

That she needs to pay in judgement day

The sins that cast the darkest cloud

That one could feel

Shadowing a child’s life

 

 When I’m tortured and abused

Life won’t be the same

Cruel as it can be

I need to excrute the pain

Unbridle my sorrow

To seek a refuge is impossible

I’m an innocent child

I can’t say things that I want

But don’t I have my rights?

I’m so mild and fragile

But you put in hot soup,

For I was only a toddler

My worries would not be heard

Nor it be attended to

The pain I was getting

To fade away

 

My distress feeling are damaging me

My aching body is killing me slowly

and

My tormented soul

Barely stands anymore beatings

 

Everything is

Unimaginable to even picture a word

A lady turns a monster

What have turned her to be?

Into heartless human being....

 

 

Suffering of a whip

Lash out recurring and repeatedly

Don’t you have the heart?

That could love a helpless child?

Please let me go and

Free into the hands of my mum,

I swear

I won’t tell a single soul

That you are a beast

 

My misery is eating me alive,

Never a day I hide my smile,

A stigmata ciggerette butts

Can surely tell no lies,

Hardened kicks upon me....

 

So, I battled death

I received a horibble whiplash

You scourged me severely

That I was only a doll with no heart beats.

 

Every single day

It is killing me silently

 

Day by day I pray to God

To make you stop,

Day by day I cry so loud

To make you proud,

Day by day I beg for mercy,

Even though you don’t want to see me,

Day by day I hope for somebody,

To save me from your evil beatings

 

I told mummy but she didn’t believe

I told mummy but she said no worries

I told mummy but she only felt sorry

And I couldn’t do anything.

 

 

You never stop,

Though you look regret

You told me I made you sick,

You told me I made you broken

But I was the one who was broken

 

My tormented life would never fail

To haunt me for life

There’s no escape for a child my age

Could I just disappear?

Could I just die if that is the answer

I can only cry to unbridle my pain

I can only break in tears to convey my message

I can only say I’m sorry for whatever things I’ve never done

I can only sleep in silents with all the sobbings

 

I can’t endure your assaults,

I can’t take you scoldings,

I can’t accept your mistreat,

I’m only a child

 

A toddler that I was.....

How can you think of beating an innocent child?

What were you thinking?

Have you lost your mind?

What were you making?

Aren’t you supposed to care for me?

Why do you hate me so much?

 

My small body is senseless

That sweet smile has gone forever

“Who killed my baby?”

Mummy screamed frantically

Fell onto the ground instantly

And never regain her sanity

 

Corporal punishment,

Lock behind bars

Sentenced for years,

Repentance,

Will not bring me back to life

 

A sad tragic it has been

Such a loss is fore

seen

Though unbearable it can be

Nothing would bring any peace

To a mother of a lifeless child

And a victim of a constant beatings.

 

  

 Recited by

1. Aqeel Faris b. Mohd Asrulnizam 

2. Auni Damia binti Nor Hafizan