ABUSE
(written by Norlilawati MN)
2019
A child is a God given
A child is entrusted to you
A child is your source of joy
To be loved and cherished by all
And yet is poorly care and
Sadistically abused by a care taker
Though it’s not easy
Mummy still wants me
She hopes for ebullience
As daddy leaves
And she loves me deeply
As a mother can be
Then I was sent to a devil
in a human mask
The devil that speaks human’s language
That has no heart or soul
Words of abuse
Bawl out every morning
You never treat me well
As if I come from hell
What have I ever done to you,
My so-called “baby-sitter”?
She is a mother of two
But has got no shame
Disguise as a human,
But a witch that I fear the most
Her sins is mounting
That she needs to pay in judgement day
The sins that cast the darkest cloud
That one could feel
Shadowing a child’s life
When I’m tortured and
abused
Life won’t be the same
Cruel as it can be
I need to excrute the pain
Unbridle my sorrow
To seek a refuge is impossible
I’m an innocent child
I can’t say things that I want
But don’t I have my rights?
I’m so mild and fragile
But you put in hot soup,
For I was only a toddler
My worries would not be heard
Nor it be attended to
The pain I was getting
To fade away
My distress feeling are damaging me
My aching body is killing me slowly
My tormented soul
Barely stands anymore beatings
Everything is
Unimaginable to even picture a word
A lady turns a monster
What have turned her to be?
Into heartless human being....
Suffering of a whip
Lash out recurring and repeatedly
Don’t you have the heart?
That could love a helpless child?
Please let me go and
Free into the hands of my mum,
I swear
I won’t tell a single soul
That you are a beast
My misery is eating me alive,
Never a day I hide my smile,
A stigmata ciggerette butts
Can surely tell no lies,
Hardened kicks upon me....
So, I battled death
I received a horibble whiplash
You scourged me severely
That I was only a doll with no heart beats.
Every single day
It is killing me silently
Day by day I pray to God
To make you stop,
Day by day I cry so loud
To make you proud,
Day by day I beg for mercy,
Even though you don’t want to see me,
Day by day I hope for somebody,
To save me from your evil beatings
I told mummy but she didn’t believe
I told mummy but she said no worries
I told mummy but she only felt sorry
And I couldn’t do anything.
You never stop,
Though you look regret
You told me I made you sick,
You told me I made you broken
But I was the one who was broken
My tormented life would never fail
To haunt me for life
There’s no escape for a child my age
Could I just disappear?
Could I just die if that is the answer
I can only cry to unbridle my pain
I can only break in tears to convey my message
I can only say I’m sorry for whatever things I’ve never done
I can only sleep in silents with all the sobbings
I can’t endure your assaults,
I can’t take you scoldings,
I can’t accept your mistreat,
I’m only a child
A toddler that I was.....
How can you think of beating an innocent child?
What were you thinking?
Have you lost your mind?
What were you making?
Aren’t you supposed to care for me?
Why do you hate me so much?
My small body is senseless
That sweet smile has gone forever
“Who killed my baby?”
Mummy screamed frantically
Fell onto the ground instantly
And never regain her sanity
Corporal punishment,
Lock behind bars
Sentenced for years,
Repentance,
Will not bring me back to life
A sad tragic it has been
Such a loss is fore
seen
Though unbearable it can be
Nothing would bring any peace
To a mother of a lifeless child
And a victim of a constant beatings.
1. Aqeel Faris b. Mohd Asrulnizam
2. Auni Damia binti Nor Hafizan